I’ll come right out and admit it, I am a MASSIVE Star Wars fan!  Think of the biggest Star Wars fan you know, and 10x them.  That’s where I sit.  I’ve seen every movie at least 20 times, I’ve read well over 20 books, I’ve seen every TV show, including the Holiday Special (Bea Arthur IS STAR WARS).  I’ve studied Wookiepedia, played the customizable card games, all of the video games and could probably write Star Wars stories without the aid of Chat GPT.  I preface this article by glorifying my fandom for the sole reason of saying this.  THE ACOLYTE IS A FAIL!

Obviously, as a branding agency, we focus day in and day out on the brands that we service.  We help them tell stories, GOOD stories that compel people to take action, to rethink their approach to life and entertain them to the point where they trust and pledge loyalty to the brand because they identify with it.

There is a way you approach a new brand, and there is a way you approach a legacy brand.  Star Wars is a legacy brand.  Since 1977 when George Lucas invited us into his universe, generations of parents and children have enjoyed Star Wars properties together.  They saw themselves in characters like Luke Skywalker,Leia Organa and Han Solo.  They had friends like Chewbacca and C-3PO.  They knew people in their lives like Yoda and Darth Vadar.  The stories told in Star Wars echoed their own storylines.

On October 30th, 2012, Disney bought Star Wars and many of us fans were excited!  Disney was long known for telling great stories.  Walt pretty much wrote the book on telling a story across multiple platforms and using it to inspire a diverse audience.  They put Kathleen Kennedy, most notable for being the Executive Producer of the 90’s hit movie Twister at the head of the franchise and for the most part, she started nailing it.

She brought in writers and directors who were fans of Star Wars.  People like Jon Favreau and Dave Foloni, people like Bryce Dallas Howard and people like Deborah Chow.  They told great stories through the Mandolorian, through Rogue One and extending the Clone Wars animated series.  Star Wars was great again!

So why, 12 years later, are we seeing The Acolyte carry the lowest Rotten Tomatoes score OF ALL TIME?!  Seriously people, at the time of this article, its at 13% and dropping.  It comes down to one simple, and I mean VERY simple aspect.  The writers are not fans.  As a matter of fact, most of them have never seen anything Star Wars.  The show’s producer Leslie Headland, Harvey Weinstein’s right hand woman and producer of The Bachelor, even brags about the fact that the writers are so ignorant to the franchise.

Kathleen Kennedy has long thought that people loved Star Wars because of the costumes, lightsabers and space battles.  She hinged a bet that people would consume it solely based on that.  Headland tries to tell an entirely foreign story to the universe through The Acolyte and is proving Kennedy’s bet to be a dangerous one.  Star Wars was always a universe of Cowboys and Indians.  It was always a universe of Samurai.  It was a universe influenced by good guys and bad guys.  The Acolyte is trying too hard to challenge that and it is quickly falling on its face by tripping on it’s own ego.

We are only 5 episodes in and we have already retconed the great story told over nearly 50 years of The Chosen One Anakin Skywalker being the only person ever born of the force.  Jedi Master Ki-Adi-Mundi appears 93 years before he was originally born, which BTW Disney went back into Wookiepedia (The online Star Wars encyclopedia) and changed after the episode.  And the all wise and knowing Jedi Order, who hadn’t seen the bad guys known as the Sith for 1,000 years must be lying in Star Wars Episode 1, because the Jedi in this show, set only 100 years before that movie, all very clearly know about the Sith Order.

The show’s pushing of liberal ideals is also prevalent and rather than being thinly veiled and weaved into the story’s fabric, is featured prominently at every turn.  As brand engineers, we understand that stories must mold to keep up with the times, but alienating the greater story to slide political idealisms in is just plain bad writing.

You’ve probably noticed by now, that I’m not really going into the story of the show much.  I haven’t mentioned any characters, any plot-lines or any objectives.  This is NOT a review of The Acolyte, you can easily hop online and find those.  This is an analysis of WHY the show is failing.  This is an analysis of WHY long time fans are so enraged.  This is an analysis of how Kathleen Kennedy and Leslie Headland are killing something that was so beloved, by so many for nearly 50 years.

I will continue rage watching this series in the hope that something compelling comes of it.  At the time of this article, I cannot say I’ve seen any of that.  The show is well acted, despite the dog poo scripting.  The visual effects are immaculate and it has had some of the best lightsaber fighting we’ve ever seen, so props to the production department.  Unfortunately, you can’t polish a turd and expect it to smell good.

I will conclude by saying this.  If you are a Star Wars fan, DO NOT WATCH THIS SHOW!  There is strong evidence that Disney will not continue telling this story and simply let it die like Lucas Film originally did to Chewbacca’s wife Malla, son Lumby and father Itchy after their Wookie Life Day celebration.  Instead remember and keep alive the Star Wars stories that you’ve always known about the dark side and the light, the good guys and the bad, the little guy rising up to defeat the evil overlords.  That is storytelling, that is Star Wars.